Em

Sorry: If you're married, separated, or a serial monogamist (adulterer), please go away. I'm also not interested in scantily clad photos if I am not ALREADY in a committed relationship with you, and I have to SERIOUSLY question the reason why (and under what circumstances) you had them created in the first place.

Some things I discuss here may seem abrupt.
I'm shooting for raw honesty, so some edits are also 'raw'.
There may also be errors & typos.

While I'm failing at honesty, please look for several reasons to click away from here. Statistically, I'm not the one you're seeking, and I won't try to convince you otherwise. Jesus is a gentleman who doesn't force Himself on Hi

My thought is that if my intended partner is here, you will simply and prayerfully _recognize_ me. You'll snicker (or groan loudly) at my dad jokes or nerdiness. You'll smile. And it will be authentic - not a competition. I am a perfectly flawed, sinful human, who has been born of the Spirit, picked up, dusted off, washed, clothed, given a new name, an inheiritance, a new home and a new family. That's whom I seek, too.

I wouldn't have needed all that fixing up if I'd been perfect or self-sufficient. Man is broken. I am broken. You 'probably' are, too. Pretend you've never done anything wrong, and you'll end up talking to yourself.

Yes, my approach is unconventional - a bit like me. Don't try to convince yourself that you like someone - you will either BE attracted, or you won't. If that works, then you can afford to scrutinize other details, or start planning for the future.

It's certainly not my intention, but let's be honest:
If you fall asleep on me, the problem is solved
- and I've saved you valuable time.
You're welcome, Sister!

Goal: Marriage.

A partner with whom I can freely laugh, confide, love, die, laugh, cry, plan, crash, fly. Someone whom I'll see in heaven, not BE my heaven, but one who will emit a heavenly odour on earth until we receive the order for our airlift!

Enjoy spontaneously breaking into song?
Is a rearview mirror is as good as a roadmap?
OK with carving structure from confusion?
Would you rather fix it than replace it?
Does remote work or tiny-living appeal to you?
What if we could open our front door to a new view whenever we wanted?
Do a few chickens, goats, or rabbits fit here?
Can you laugh at a flat tire in the rain?
Ready at a monent's notice, to move, help, rescue, grow.

My life can speed up and slow down without notice, but it is never boring. I need someone who can enjoy adventure, but isn't an adrenaline addict. Someone who can think on her feet, but who seeks to put Biblical principles ahead of preference. Somone who can roll up their sleeves, sew as easily as sing or chop wood. Your questions are more often, "How?" than "Why?"

I 've lived through the aftermath of wildfires. I've lost friends on the battlefield (physically as well as metaphorically). More than half the people I cared for are gone. I have no need to count bodies, but a need to make my life count for others.

I (if the Lord permits) want to:

Write
Sing
Play Guitar
Teach
Garden
Responsibly Sustain
Worship
Encourage
Cherish
Travel
Pray/Meditate
Read
Study
Create
Love
Rinse
Repeat (Once more, with feeling!)

Hmmmm. Is it suspicious that there are no material things in that list?

Yes, to accomplish those things, a few items are required:

Srationary & Computing Supplies
Seeds & Water
Transport/Shelter
Reliable Clothing
Tools to Fix Stuff
Communications
Healthy Food
A Bible & References
Opportunity
Someone to thrive with.

Pretty close to basic Maslow doctrine, hmm?

But: ONLY taking care of myself for the next few decades is possibly one of the most boring or terrifying prospects to consider. I've already screamed multiple psalms to the Lord about not needing to be here anymore. He disagrees, smiles, and keeps me here - so I thank Him, and continue!

Honestly . . . 'I' would rather write about others: I was originally trained not to speak of self when writing. Buuuuut . . . times have changed, this is a resumé - a curriculum vitae, of sorts - and (flying blind) I am interviewing myself for you. Digitally disembowelling my clockworks for all to see, some to scree, but maybe . . . just one for me?

When a sailor 'marries' 2 ropes together, they become inseparable, thicker, stronger. . But eventually, (if they are well married) it becomes almost impossible to determine where one rope starts or where the other ends. After they bear the same scars of experience over time, they are effectively - one. To separate them causes damage, almost always to both, and results can be disastrous.

OPEN QUESTION, 20 POINTS:

Can someone please explain the very liberal use of the word, 'simple', as Filipinas say it? I refuse to believe you mean 'intellectually stunted'. Does it mean you are a minimalist? Do you intentionally declutter your life? Have you a reduced/narrowed set of operating principals in life? Does it mean that you allow God to manage your complexity? I've never seen so many people use the word, as I have here. I'd like - and probably need(!) - a comprehensive explanation.

I CAN write copiously. I speak less - and in shorter volleys. If reading is a substantial challenge, simply highlight the text and let your browser read it out loud for you. (If you can't stomach in-depth conversations, or can't also navigate periods of introspective/awestuck silence or meditation, you'll 'prolly' be better off at another person's profile, anyway.)

My best form of communication is in writing - or writing for the production of audio & video. Instructions, prose, music, poetry, manuals, ad copy, marketing materials, proposals, applications, colaterals, brochures, websites, commercials, expositories, gospel pamphlets, legal arguments & petitions, financial & intercessory demands, contracts, signage, interface design. I probably forgot something.

I used to do it professionally - which means I've learned to craft outcomes through people's reactions, to: educate, motivate, manipulate, document, entertain, inspire - something I also did daily as a manager.

Having such a 'special power' brings temptation to use it improperly: I solemnly affirm that it is not my intent to mislead myself, nor anyone else here. Speaking candidly, I think that even several 'successful strikeouts' (from which one may quickly & painlessly move on) would be far better than a single, messed-up relationship. At the very least, meeting potential new friends wouldn't be the worst thing that could happen.

I don't like the intentional waste of time - even though, as a fellow fallen human: I'm very practised at it. It's like stealing blood from someone's arm: necessary for survival, so you should never take too much!

In the interest of saving valuable time, please prepare your heart for some internet treasure: Actual personal, internal dialogue - carefully discussing painful or important topics.

I describe myself as single. But I was once married for 12 years. How is this possible?

Am I lying?

No.

I'm disclosing this fact here & now. Up front. No subterfuge. No sleight of hand. The truth.

It comes with some explanation, supported by Scripture which is easy to find & understand - but I'm not planning to directly quote verses right now.

Those who are truly interested can do the research so that it's the _Lord_ Who convinces them - not me. The Christian's job is to be a hose; a bucket; a sieve, even - to allow the water of the Word to flow - we're not the pump, the reservoir, nor the hydro-electric dam. He supplies the power & does the work. Not us. We yield. He wields. The battle is His - and He has already won.

FACT: Regardless of the topic - MOST people who perpetually DEMAND to be SUPPLIED backup verses from others, RARELY CHANGE in the area of the topic being considered. Govern yourself accordingly.

Here's an important french phrase:
Pas d'elle yeux rhone connu!
( Paddle your own canoe! )

It 's now 13 years+ on from then, and I have not yet pursued another relationship.

I was served papers by a Civil Process Server, and was divorced without Scriptural cause.

It's now obvious that our original starting positions were too far apart - socio-economically. We received no counsel in this area. She'd grown up with more than the Lord had ever put in front of me. At some point, she felt that what I had to offer was not enough for her anymore. She still expected 1 to 2 vacations per year, for example, though we'd never discussed 'recreational frequency'.

She eventually committed adultery by getting married while still bound before God to another man (me). This broke the marriage ties before God - not the paperwork. To her great credit, the division was not adversarial, though unexpected and very painful. There are things I was responsible for, but I did not end the relationship. I never tried to change her, but had bent myself into a pretzel in an attempt to be who she wanted, but I'd still kept trying.

Obviously, due to space, time & purpose, this is is over simplified, and lacks a DECADE of details, but that is the framework.

With an innocuous looking note left one morning on the kitchen counter for me, in her handwriting, she told me that I was no longer welcome and had to move out immediately - before she returned. Anything not done as requested would result in legal action. I was crushed. Eventually I was also told not to have any contact - but without using a court order. I complied.

Exit stage right.
(An adult male is heard weeping offstage.)

There are some things one cannot fully comprehend - some, EVEN AFTER GOING THROUGH THEM! What a steep curve. I cannot let someone else whittle me into matchsticks again. If you've been there, you know what I mean. It's soul-crushing.

I later came to a public seminar that she also attended. As soon as she'd glimpsed me, she couldn't raise her eyes above the ground for any reason from that point on. She sat frozen beside an unidentified male. I felt sick - devastatingly sorry - for her. I can't imagine how uncomfortable she felt. I prayed for the kind of peaxe which only God can provide her.

At some point of years, my heart was also released. I clearly remember waking up one morning and (entirely without malice, sarcasm or pain) surprised to say . . .

"Oh!
Thank-you Lord: I don't love her anymore!
Thank you for removing the burden!"

I now feel compasssion towards her . . . imagine . . .
3 marriages: pain, redirection, restarting, rewiring, recommitting, realigning . . . retrusting - and three times?!? I have no ill-will toward her, but see her as another human who needs prayer.

The upshot is that I am now Scripturally _permitted_ (if adviseable) to consider marriage now - BUT with one additional caveat/requirement/stipulation:

The Bible tells me that I may now marry someone, but "only in the Lord".

Just who is such a person?

Not someone 'perfect', but - 'committed' to Christ's yoke - despite their weakness, failure, or repeated trials. They have chosen to focus upon His Lordship over them.

They are no longer babes choking on doctrine, nor imature Christians who flail to retain a speck of credit for their condemned flesh. No longer a movice, they've attended at least _some_ battles the Lord has won for them, and are under no illusion as to where the power orginates for such successes - NOT from themselves!

Someone who - in quieter moments of clarity & sanity - has acknowleged that without the Lord having more direct input, influence and control over their life, they'd be sitting broken on the sidelines, possibly having to bear some of the fury of the storm raging inside or out. Someone who (despite how far along they might be on the path of discipleshp) participates intentionally in the Lord's direction of the life which God has provided to them, and keeps stepping back onto the path. Penitent, Persistent: Not Perfect.

Is this you?

Does it describe the conversations and intents between you and the Lord?

If so, then take heart: You're in a very important subset of the Body of Christ - a resource not to be lightly squandered . . . and for the right person: you could be pure treasure!

We don't yet know if you're _my_ treasure, but for now, it _IS_good to know . . .

My Hope is built on _no-one_ less, than Jesus and His righteousness. Consequently, I stand faultless before His throne. His truth, not mine - so if that presents a problem, please take it up with the Architect, Author & Completer of my faith - which itself is a gift from Him!

Please DO _read_ my profile and ask queßtions if you might bienefit from know2ing the answer. I am not5 here to simply pl0ay around. If you dœn't find yourself actually smiling at w2hat I say, how I say it (serious O9R silly), or if some of my images don't even raise an eyebro9w, then another profile i8s probably more your style. IMPORTANTLY: If you don't belong to Christ, you'll p0robably be uncomfortable with even the use of that p0hrase, and, we most likely aren't meant for e3ach other.

Depending upon your question, I might be able to provide the answer _here_, or upgrade sooner. Please DO post me important messages - But let's respect each other's time by dispensing with mere idle curiosity. - none of us are getting any younger. Unless it's emergency assistance (first aid, etc.), I refuse to be in a hurry to do something _instantly_, especially if it affects the rest of my life. Neither should you.

Please don't be insulted if I don't respond immediately: Aiming to reduce or avoid confusion, exhaustion, or heartache - I intentionally don't talk to a whole pile of people simultaneously. To help ensure better communications, I will limit the number of sisters I am in contact with at any one time.

* * * It makes absolutely no sense to stir ALL the coals in a fire ifnit is barely being used. Conversly - always stirring the coals only makes the fire burn uselessly intense, while quickly running out of energy. I don't think the Lord wants us wasting energy chasing entire schools of fish! * * *

No?

( SO: if I AM talking to you, please be aware that you are getting the forefront of my communications, and we will try to keep it timely. OK? )

Initially raised Catholic, I'm a Bible believer, saved by faith in Christ's work on the cross for my sins & sealed by the Spirit. (Where I have functioned well: Alliance, Baptist, Brethren, Church of Christ, etc.)

The wisdom that comes from above is FIRST PURE, THEN PEACEABLE. There _IS_ only ONE BODY of Christ, in which, all true believers are members. They will know we are believers by the love we have for other believers. I see the instruction to KEEP the unity of the Spirit in the bond of PEACE as more important than an invented human denomination, even though I currently worship with Baptists

If we do not pursue peace with our brothers, Christ's name is blasphemed among the nations. Can you imagine how much spiritual damage has occurred while believers argued in _public_ (or in front of children!) about Scripture versions?

I love languages, think in English & French, travel well in Spanish & German, and sing in several more. It would be ideal if you were a good singer, too - something we coild definitely share together, and with others.

I'm an optimist, but struggle with depression at times. My hair was white when I was a young child. In my adult life, it was dark blond. Now, it's white once again. My body is almost as flexible as when I was a teen, but with a few extra creaks. Optional Equipment: Beard. (I'm still more flexible than many people youmger than I am - and, DV, I pray that I remain that way!)

YOU take care of the temple of the Spirit, but don't spend hours on your appearance - seldom using or needing (is that too strong a word?) cosmetics. You're equally comfortable wearing dresses, wraps, kilts, skirts, cullottes, floods, jodhpurs, bloomers, shorts, pants, jeans, or pantsuits. They're just clothing! The particular situation/occasion usually determine the clothing choice, but you choose the more feminine option when it's practical. You cover your head (voluntarily in faith) while praying, reading the Word, or sharing Christ's work with others. If not, I won't chastise you, but neither will I pursue.

You support no special 'human rights' movements, and instead, prefer to pray for God's grace. You see the ENTIRE human race as targetted by Satan - not this or that special interest group. He doesn't much care who he kills, so long as they remind him of Christ. In a fallen world without God - we only have 2 'rights' - to defecate, and to die - and sometimes not even both of _them! In Christ, our inheritance is far more expansive, and doesn't need government or systems of man to defend it. Practically speaking, the best condition, is to dwell outside the camp with Christ, bearing His reproach - accepting His measures and fuelled by His loving approval.

If it's honest and sincere, I don't have a problem with getting to know a sister from across the globe, but anyone seeking riches will find none here - other than Christ, that is. Don't get me wrong: What I DO have, I share, but I'll never be rich unless someone else brings it - or we MAKE it together. I AM seeking someone who is entrepreneurial or business minded. In my last relationship, I was told I could not remain self-employed . . . No wonder it didn't work out!

You don't have to be a math or business wiz - though it _could_ help - but you've never been paralyticlly afraid of trying new things, working hard to achieve goals, or doing without so that you could reach a specific target. SOMEWHERE IN THIS NOTE: in no particular order, there are going to he a list of thimgs I 'd like to do if I have the opportunity - some of them with a partner! You might wonder what's on my horizon.

The woman I drew inspiration from as a child was a reading instructor, carpenter, designer, seamstress, fence technician, chef, cattle-woman, architect, administrator, CFO, work strategist & project manager, seamstress, self-taught veterinarian, first-aid attendant, cadet instructor, and finally my best friend who treated me as an equal in my late teens and beyond. She wore pants whenever needed. I've never met anyone remotely similar who was also as skilled as she was. I used to talk with her every month. Sometimes you don't know what you have until it's gone!

Fear Not: I don't expect you to be able to keep up with my mother's legacy, but I _am_ seeking my mutual partner, team-member, cheerleader, encourager, brainstormer, partner 'in crime', wrench/brush passer, idea-bouncer, source of sober second opinion. My mother is the reason I've never stopped learning - I didn't find out it was 'abnormal' until I'd already developed the learning habit and become addicted. Because of her, I could read before ever attending school. She also gave me my love of music & song. I don't think she ever spoke a lie in her adult life - I wish that were as true for me.

In the past, when I was instructing, my payback came when I saw everything suddenly make sense for the student who never gave up. If they didnt give up, neither did I. Although I may sometimes assume the role of teacher (as you might, in your own areas of experience), I will never think of you as anything other than my equal before God - even if fulfilling different roles. Though possibly weaker, youn are NEVER inferior.

* . . . And I don't want to even think about conflict. If you turned out to be of those people who just wants to _take_ everything? Well, there's not enough here to fight over. If so, hjust tell me when you arrive, I'll give you everything first, then walk away immediately. A single bed in an attic is happier than sharing a wide house with a brawling spouse. It is far better to remain single, but wish you weren't - than it would be to get married, then wish you hadn't!

I DON'T want to STRIVE. I don't NEED a woman to SURVIVE. I DO want a wife with whom to THRIVE. I don't know if more kids are in this picture. Frankly, I'm more frightened than ever of bringing a child to this world - even though we DO have the Lord! There's certainly a reason why God warns Messianic believers about being pregnant as they prepare to flee Antichrist's tribulation.

I'm not making a decision now. Bearing children and raising _adults_ is not something to be done without serious consideration & agreement between husband & wife. However, if my wife was faithfully confident and we both had reached a point where the path was obvious... I also struggle with the possibility of not seeing them graduate. :::-( I ALREADY miss seeing their successful future!? Tummy churning + a little tear.
[How's _that_ for sudden, startling honesty?]

I'm semi-retired - meaning several things: prices go up, so, like most people, I must be open to opportunity, as I have more time than money. I work when it makes sense, and seek pay if I need it, volunteer if I don't. I don't HAVE to stay in one place. I can get up or go to bed at crazy hours - to cook, eat, help friends, read, or just look at the sky.

I live in a Recreational Vehicle and presently am a caretaker of a rural property in central BC, Canada. I grew up on a farm not far from here. I've travelled, spent time in the military, and was a senior project & business manager, as well as a tech trainer for most of my work-life.

I don't act or think according to the age displayed on my National Funhouse ID Card! Naturally speaking, I'm an introvert, but my training and curiosity enables me to be outgoing without too much effort.

I am artistic as well as analytical. I cook, sing, play guitar, and write - for a start. (Though I try not to do them simultaneously!) I have also managed programmers, carpenters, designers, mechanics, writers and artists - so herding cats while trying to make sense out of chaos is 3rd nature to me - my _second_ nature is Christ, of course.

I am a resourceful, creative problem solver who was actually surprised to discover that some people think ONLY inside-the-box. SPECIAL NOTE: If you're _extremely_ conventional, you might feel uncomfortable at times with my lateral thinking. (But you'll probably never get bored while watching!) I forget the 4 letter designation, but a personality analyst/psychologist once said that I was the 'inventor/innovator type' - a helpful insight at the time.

I crave sincere connection, long-term better relationship than short, but might consider variations - appropriate friendships are great, too!

Once a certain level of trust is achieved, I'm willing to try new things (maybe blindfolds?) or to guide others . . . but how will you ever know? If you're a believer, and share multiple interests (maybe skill overlaps) with me and are a bit interested - DREAM WITH ME:

-- Under Consideration --

- Teach English
- Raise chickens/goats/rabbits
- Rare medicinals garden
- Online sidegigs
- Ministry to less fortunate
- Go full offgrid
- Drive the continent
- Write a(t least 1) book w poss. screenplay
- learn more language
- learn . . ?
- Share it all with . . ?

Interested? Contributable? You're still a responsible person, but your obligations have decreased or recently disappeared? Do you have more options now? Living in a depressed country w high strife & low prospects, and need to find the right person for the next step in life?

They needn't be simultaneous, but the craziest scenarios (other than recreational activities) that I can imagine enjoying in the future, include:

Teaching English overseas . . .
Living mobile (not simply travelling or being wasteful) . . .
Being available to help in emergencies . . .
Short-term missions . . .
Managing a recovery home . . .
Writing & performing music or drama . . .
Writing & producing podcasts & video . . .

. . . with you?

I don't _personally_ feel the need to achieve what the world would consider to be lofty goals, success, or wealth. Those things may only warm you for a short time - and sometimes, they're just empty and lonely.

My need is to be cherished, needed and valued, and to be reciprocal with the same.
If two broken saints can stand to look at each other (they like what they see!), can kneel together (agree in prayer), and can RISK feeling again - only God knows what can be possible.

If the Lord wills . . .

Frankly & naturally speaking: this scares the ______ out of me.
And I'm still tip-toeing forward.